[Final Fantasy XIV] gossip

[duckiesandlemons]

Title: gossip
Rating: E for everyone
Fandom: Final Fantasy XIV
Characters: Dancing Green, Deep Blue, Honey B. Lovely
Summary:

“The Tyrant?” Deep Blue practically purrs. “What does our Grand Champion have to do with you and a date?”

“N-nothing! Hey, Deep Blue, about that earlier advice maybe I could hook you up with someone else?”
or; Dancing Green gets approached for dating advice. Dating advice turns to gossip. He may have made a mistake somewhere.

Warning(s): Pre-Raid series so no mention of the WoL

 

“Dancing Green.”

“…Deep Blue.”

There’s palpable tension in the air. Eheeya’s body is tense, ready to bolt. Blue is relaxed, cocksure and uncaring. Eheeya tries to push down the fact he feels like prey. “What can a frog do against an ocean predator,” the inner Metem in his mind offers.

Blue saunters up to him, all swagger and grace. Eheeya tries to keep the nervousness out of his body language. He puts on the crooked smile, shoves his hands into his pockets to hide their trembling. He unintentionally takes a step back.

“You get around, yah?” Blue asks. He keeps walking forward, herding Eheeya.

Eheeya swallows back the nervous laugh in his throat. “You…you could say that,” he says. Eheeya doesn’t. Despite all the partying, all the dancing, he’s never taken anyone home. Whatever thoughts Deep Blue has are completely wrong. The other Shetona just hums in acknowledgment. “All the ladies can’t seem to leave me alone, y’know?” Eheeya continues. If he has to dig his own grave he might as well dig it deeper. There doesn’t seem to be a good way out.

Deep Blue nods, “Oh yeah? What about men?”

Eheeya’s mind stops. He’s so stunned by Blue’s question that he doesn’t even bother to keep his persona up.

“Men!?” Eheeya squeaks.

“What, there a problem?” Blue’s expression goes from amused to dangerous.

“N-no, not at all, just—” Eheeya starts fumbling. “Is this about Red?”

It’s Blue’s turn to become embarrassed. A flush rides up high on his face and he starts looking anywhere but at Eheeya’s face. “It’s absolutely not about Red, not at all,” Blue spits out. “Just…maybe there’s someone that he’s interested in and maybe it’s a guy and I wanna help like a good bro.”

“So you want dating advice for your tag team partner who hasn’t shown interest in anyone else outside of you—”

“There’s someone!”

“You’d kill them first.”

“I would not!”

Eheeya points an accusatory finger at Blue, “You so would! You tried to eat me alive when I first joined the Arcadion because the President debated letting me tag team with Red Hot for one of my first few matches!”

“Because I knew you guys would flop and I want him to win!” Blue bites back.

“And then I saw you toss out gifts from Red’s fans in the dumpster! You thought you were slick!”

“They don’t know what he likes!”

"You’re in love with him!” Eheeya shouts.

Blue’s face becomes even redder, “Shut up! Not like Mr. Party Animal knows what love is like!”

Eheeya gasps, offended, “I do! I even have a date with the Tyrant—”

He quickly snaps his mouth shut. It’s too late. Blue’s already smelled the blood in the water and he leaps on it with far too much speed. Eheeya can feel the way his heart starts pounding, rabbit fast, in his chest. He takes an unsure step back. Deep Blue takes a step forward.

“The Tyrant?” Deep Blue practically purrs. “What does our Grand Champion have to do with you and a date?”

“N-nothing! Hey, Deep Blue, about that earlier advice maybe I could hook you up with someone else?”

“Don’t think you’re getting off the hook this easily! I’m not letting you get away with embarrassing me so easily—”

“Oooh, so ya do like Red Hot, huh? And Dancing Green is with the Tyrant?” a familiar voice chirps. It’s bubbly and sickeningly saccharine. Eheeya only feels his day has somehow gotten worse.

“Hello, Honey Bee,” Eheeya greets. That nervous edge is still in his voice, made worse by the presence of the Arcadion’s beloved idol. Honey had taken advantage of their arguing earlier. She had easily crept up on them all so that she could seamlessly weasel her way into whatever interesting thing they were talking about. In this case, unfortunately, it meant the two Shetonas’ love lives. Or a lack of love life when it came to Deep Blue.

“Hello!” Honey chirps, making a little heart shape with her hands. “I just heard two very familiar voices talking and decided to make my way over! I wouldn’t think it’d lead me to some juicy gossip!”

“It ain’t juicy gossip,” Deep Blue snaps.

“It really isn’t,” Dancing Green adds.

“Sure it is,” Honey Bee says. “I mean hearing it just confirmed what I was thinking when I saw Dancing Green leave the Tyrant’s apartment not too long ago.”

Eheeya squeaks. He had thought he had been stealthy when leaving the Tyrant’s apartment. There hadn’t been any news articles written about it, his phone wasn’t being blown up by any messages and Metem hadn’t dragged them both in for a “stern lecture.” But Honey Bee had seen them!? Eheeya wants to die. He actually wants to die right now and have his body thrown into the ocean.

“And Deep Blue being in love with Red Hot confirms what I saw with him being extra aggressive to that poor fan who simply wanted Red’s autograph,” Honey continues. “The poor girl looked ready to faint with how hard Blue was glaring.”

“Wait, you saw that!?” Blue shouts.

“I see everything!” Honey follows her words up with a wink. She’s quick to crowd into their personal space, her eyes sparkling. “Now, tell me, what’s goin’ on here? Is it about dating advice? Needing tips on how to romance your partner?”

 

Eheeya’s ears are stiff, his tail quivering in nervous terror. He does not want to give Honey Bee any information on his love life. Just the fact that she now knows he’s dating the Tyrant is bad. For her to gain any more information about their love life is just--

“Oh, how did you and the Tyrant start dating, Green?” Honey asks.

Eheeya tries to smother his sob.

Deep Blue, no longer with the spotlight on him as well, eagerly joins. There is perhaps far much more maliciousness in his words compared to Honey Bee’s. “Yeah, how did our resident party animal get together with the King of the Arcadion?” Deep Blue goads. Eheeya’s eyes desperately dart around the vicinity to try and find a way to flee. He can only be thankful that no one has realized three of the Arcadion’s fighters are in one area. Deep Blue really knew how to choose places for interrogation. No, wait, Eheeya shouldn’t be complimenting him like that.

“We just...started dating,” Eheeya gets out. “It wasn’t too long ago—”

“No lyin’ now!” Honey Bee chides. “When I saw you leaving his apartment it was months ago!”

Eheeya grimaces, “Look, we don’t want to make it public we both like our privacy—”

“We won’t tell anyone, right Blue?”

“Totally, surfer’s honor,” Deep Blue even thumps his chest. Eheeya is pretty sure “surfer’s honor” isn’t a thing. The toothy grin on Blue’s face tells Eheeya that the other Shetona isn’t even thinking of keeping it a secret from Red Hot. Which means that eventually it’ll make its way to everyone in Solution Nine. Sometimes, Eheeya thinks he needs better co-workers.

“I mean...I’ll tell you,” Eheeya starts, “if you can tell me what’s going on with you and Vamp Fatale!” He points an accusatory finger at Honey Bee. It’s enough to startle her.

“Me with that...that witch!?” Honey Bee gasps. “What are you trying to imply?”

“Do you not remember the club from the other night?” Eheeya asks.

Deep Blue’s attention turns to Honey Bee, “The club?”

It’s Honey Bee’s turn to start sweating. She’s wringing her hands together, her eyes darting to the side constantly. “I—that is—nothing was going on she just happened to be there and I just happened to be there,” Honey Bee says. “And we argued, because we hate each other.”

“Hate each other enough to start making out?” Eheeya crosses his arms, the nervousness slowly leaving his body now that the tables have been turned.

“Th-that’s—hate fucking is a thing and—”

“Fucking?” Deep Blue goes in for the kill. “Sure that’s a thing but are you really saying that about you and your rival of all people?” Honey Bee locks up. Her expression darkens, the flush of embarrassment washing over her cheeks. Eheeya wonders if they went too far. Not that Deep Blue seems to care. The man keeps pushing without a care in the world for the danger in front of him. “So do you actually like Vamp Fatale,” Deep Blue hammers the final nail in the proverbial coffin. He even crosses his arms in triumph.

“You take those words back,” Honey hisses.

Eheeya starts inching away from the two.

“Make me,” Deep Blue sneers.

Eheeya can hear the sound of a regulator activating.

“You’re on, loser. Maybe I’ll knock some sense into ya so hard Red Hot will become a fan of me instead once he sees how much of a weakling his dear older brother is.”

There’s another regulator activating.

“I don’t think that’s territory you want to fly in, Honey Bee.”

Eheeya barely scrambles out of the way as the two transform. He doesn’t know how it came to this. He just wanted them to get off his back about the Tyrant. If this is what happens just because he was avoidant on talking about his love life maybe he should just spit out all the details in the first place.

“Someone, heeeeelp!” Eheeya wails pitifully, throwing himself to the ground to avoid an attack that flies right over his head.

“Hey, is that Honey Bee and Deep Blue having an unsanctioned match!?”

“Honey B. Lovely!? Where!”

“Deep Blue!! Deep Blue oh my gosh this is so cool! Beat that Bee into the ground Deep Blue!”

“Honey! Honey! Honey!”

Citizens were starting to flock to them, too. Oh, oh this is bad. Dancing Green fumbles for his phone and unlocks it. He’s desperately scrolling for the Tyrant’s number knowing that if anyone could stop the two rampaging fighters it would be him. Or maybe he should contact Metem? Wouldn’t that be more appropriate? Decision paralysis takes over.

“Eat shit, Queen Bitch!”

Eheeya shouts in dismay as a particularly heavy attack splashes both him and his phone in water. The poor device seems okay, it’s okay, right--

“I’m gonna make you beg!”

The sickly smell of poisoned honey starts filling the air. People are cheering now, gathering at what they deemed an appropriate distance to watch the spectacle. Eheeya slams the call button next to the Tyrant’s name.

One ring, two rings, three--

“Eheeya?” the Tyrant’s voice is deep and a little breathy. He must have finished working out. Something Eheeya would appreciate more if he didn’t have pressing matters to worry about behind him.

“Heeeeeelp!” is all poor Eheeya can get out before another explosion forces him to hide again.

“...don’t move. Don’t use your regulator.”

The Tyrant hangs up after that. Eheeya doesn’t know how long it takes but the cheers of the crowd suddenly get louder. He can hear the Tyrant bellowing something out before Honey and Blue cry in pain. There’s the familiar sounds of their transformations releasing. It’s enough for Eheeya to come crawling out from his hiding place to see what’s going on.

There’s Red Hot, supporting Deep Blue, and the Tyrant is holding Honey by the collar of her coat like a kitten. She’s still bickering with Deep Blue though their ire swiftly changes to him when they see him.

“YOU!” both of them shout at once.

God, Eheeya wishes they hadn’t attracted a crowd.

“Hey darlings, what’s happening?” he greets, complete with a casual two fingered salute. The crowd, already reeling from the surprise appearance of their Grand Champion, start absolutely losing their minds on seeing Eheeya appear.

“You know what you did!” Honey shouts. It seems she’s forgotten all about her sweet girl persona at the moment.

“You started all of this!” Deep Blue adds. Red Hot only tilts his head in confusion at hearing his bro’s words.

“Me? Start this!?” Eheeya gasps. “How did I start this when you came to me for dating advice!?”

“...this true, bro?” Red Hot asks. Deep Blue stiffens in his arms.

“Uhm, well—”

“He said it was for Red Hot,” Honey scoffs. “Likely story.” Deep Blue bristles and the two try to go at each other again. The Tyrant dutifully holds Honey back. Red Hot doesn’t even seem to be trying to hold Blue back. Though Deep Blue looks reluctant to leave Red’s hold.

“So, how did you two get into an argument that prompted you to do things that would bring shame to the Arcadion?” the Tyrant asks.

Deep Blue is frowning, “Because we found out that Dancing Green and—”

Eheeya slams his hand over Deep Blue’s mouth.

“Because they both can’t handle the naturally good advice I gave!” Dancing Green says. He follows it up with a laugh that he hopes doesn’t sound too nervous. Deep Blue, incensed, bites down on Eheeya’s palm. It takes every bit of his willpower to not squeak in pain.

“...Don’t let this happen again,” the Tyrant says. He places Honey down, gently, and Dancing Green finally takes his hand off of Deep Blue’s mouth. The entire situation ends without much fanfare. The Tyrant waits for Honey and the Extremes to leave before giving Eheeya a nod of acknowledgment. One that he returns with a cheeky little wave because he knows after this he’ll be able to sneak into the Tyrant’s apartment, cuddle him and vent about the events that led up to Honey and Blue’s brawl. It’ll be a good evening.

The next day, Deep Blue corners Eheeya again.

“I still didn’t get that dating advice,” Blue says.

Eheeya wants to curl up and die.